Detachment: The Buddhist Way to Peace of Mind

By John Ortiz, edited by Jonathan Atleson

In Christian vernacular, “detachment” could be interpreted literally as “put it at the altar.” Or, in other words, “surrender to the will of God.” In the West, detachment is often seen as a negative trait—apathy, not caring. But in Eastern traditions, it's a much more sophisticated concept.

Imagine you are watching the movie version of your life. You take a step back and observe the movie with the eye of a critic. Some things you like, some things you don't; some things you have power over, some things you don't.

But this distanced perspective enables you to shift your perception. You now have a choice about how you think about things.

The Lord Buddha taught that there were four Noble Truths:

1. Dukkha: Life inevitably involves suffering and dissatisfaction.

2. Samudaya: Suffering is caused by attachment to what you desire or crave

3. Nirodha: Suffering can be ended, or eased, by detachment, letting go of your craving, ultimately leading to a state of Nirvana, or liberation

4. Magga: There is an Eightfold Path to end suffering [Ed. note: Buddha did not specify if Donald Trump was involved in Magga]

With my Christian upbringing, I believe we can pray to be blessed with something and receive it. However, it’s important to note that you should NOT pray to be taught detachment if you aren’t already suffering, as you will likely endure some of the most painful lessons of your life.

The prayer I recommend is quite simple. I would say, “Lord Jesus, bless me with detachment.” Then I would take a deep breath, inhaling Good Energy, Holy Spirit, Mother Mary, whatever you want to call it. Upon exhaling, I would let go of that which no longer serves me physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, karmically.

I would expect some divine assistance in this quest. My barometer for success is “peace of mind, independent of circumstances.” In the words of Paul the Apostle, “a peace that surpasses understanding.”

Once you have Peace of Mind, you’ll sleep better, make better food choices, and make better decisions on how to spend your time. It's an upward spiral, kind of like the rich getting richer and the poor losing what little they have.

In my 40 years as an energy healer, I have seen many clients successfully learn and experience detachment. Below is my favorite one of these success stories.

Previous Posts by John Ortiz and Jonathan Atleson

On Health and Wellness:

https://triadhealing.substack.com/p/aloe-vera-gel-food-of-the-gods

https://triadhealing.substack.com/p/raymond-francis

https://triadhealing.substack.com/p/the-legacy-of-raymond-francis-hyper

https://triadhealing.substack.com/p/humor-for-healing

https://triadhealing.substack.com/p/the-mysteries-of-water

https://triadhealing.substack.com/p/energy-exercises

https://triadhealing.substack.com/p/the-gayatri-mantra

https://triadhealing.substack.com/p/its-elemental-my-dear-watson-magnesium

https://triadhealing.substack.com/p/aloha-mahalo-and-hooponopono

https://triadhealing.substack.com/p/the-fountain-of-youth

https://triadhealing.substack.com/p/a-shy-post-about-my-fing-anger-issues

https://triadhealing.substack.com/p/oh-no-here-we-go-smelling-like-d

The Healer’s Journey:

https://triadhealing.substack.com/p/my-journey-to-energy-healing-part

https://triadhealing.substack.com/p/my-healing-journey-chasing-newtrition

https://triadhealing.substack.com/p/man-overboard-holy-adventure-ch-1

Wellness Product Reviews:

https://triadhealing.substack.com/p/masa-chips-by-ancient-crunch

https://triadhealing.substack.com/p/my-farm-box-farm-fresh-to-you

Mike the Mechanic

I once owned a dry land marina in Daytona Beach, Florida, with many mechanics working for me. One day, one of my mechanics came in looking rather rough. I said, "Mike, are you okay?” He replied, “I don't know if I'm going to make it.”

I said, “Whoa, easy does it! Sit down. Take a deep breath. Here, drink some water.” And then I asked him, “What's going on?”

He said, “Well, it's kind of stupid. I was living with my girlfriend, and one day she said, ‘This isn't working, you need to move out.’” I said I thought that was pretty harsh.

Then he told me his girlfriend said, “I want you to hear it from me first. There's another guy moving in to replace you.” And I thought, Wow, ouch. That one hurts. You have this sinking feeling of rejection and abandonment, coupled with not being good enough, coupled with being replaced by the upgraded model.

I took a deep breath and asked him, “Mike, do you believe in a higher power?” He said, “I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ.” I said, “Okay, good, that works.” It could have been any higher power—or even a higher mind for an atheist or an agnostic.

Then I said, “Do you believe the Lord Jesus can heal you of this mental funk you're experiencing?” And he said, “I guess so.”

So I said, “Okay, good. All you have to do is—whenever you are in a mental state that you don’t want to be in—say: ‘Lord Jesus, bless me with detachment.’ Then take a deep breath, and exhale, letting go.”

He gave me a puzzled look and said, “Well, John, I don't really understand.” I replied, “Mike, here's the beauty of this. You don't really have to understand. Let me ask you two questions. One, are you miserable?” He said yes. “Two, are you willing to try something that might make you less miserable?” Again, he said yes. Then I said, “Well, you just passed the test with flying colors.”

So that first day at work was pretty rough. Every time Mike felt a wave of depression, he would say, “Lord Jesus, bless me with detachment.” He would take a deep breath. And then cry like a baby—I mean, he was really bawling and letting it all out.

I knew he was getting the healing he was praying for, because one of the ways the mind heals is through tears and crying. In the Beatitudes, it says, “Blessed are those that mourn; they shall be comforted.” I think one of the ways we do that is we cry; and when we cry, we release that mental/emotional pain. As most women know more than men, you feel better after a good cry.

But in American culture, we are called “crybabies”, or taught, “big girls don't cry.” But I think the motto should be more like, “It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.”

Well, perhaps a party isn’t the best place to have a good cry. Exactly where the best place is to experience your mental release will vary from person to person. In Mike's case, he was letting it loose at work and just bawling like a baby.

The other mechanics were rather unsettled because this wasn't a typical macho-man thing to do. They said to me, “Hey, man, Mike's losing it!” I told them, “Well, he's just going through some stuff.”

One of the mechanics was a “good ol’ boy”—grew up on a farm. He said, “Hey, if my horse acted like that, I'd load up my shotgun!” I said, “No, this is important. You DO NOT talk to Mike.”

At the end of the day, I don't think Mike got more than a couple hours of actual work done. Yet, by the end of the day, he looked totally spent. I looked at him and said, “Mike, trust me on this. You're already on your healing journey. Every tear you shed gets you closer to the goal. Trust the process and you'll find yourself feeling better.”

So he went home. When he came back the next day, he said, “John, I have to admit, I feel a little bit better today than I did yesterday.” So he figured things were pretty much back to normal—he had a productive day at work, just like before. But I said, “There's a process where this rabbit hole actually goes much, much deeper—if you're willing to pursue it.”

So the third day he comes back to work, and he says, “John, this shit works! The more I do, the better I feel. The better I feel, the more I believe. The more I believe, the more I want to do it.”

I replied, “Well, you got momentum going in the right direction. Congratulations. Have you ever experienced peace of mind in your life?” He said, “No, I've never known peace of mind in my entire adult life.” And I said, “All right, that's our goal: Peace of Mind, Independent of Circumstances. That's where we want to get to.”

So that day he has a pretty good day at work, and the fourth day he comes back. This time he's glowing. He's walking with his feet not quite touching the ground, like a movie star. He just looks like a totally different person. I said, “Mike, you look good.”

He said, “I wanna thank you. I feel like I've got this whole new lease on life. Last night at 4 a.m. I woke up with the worst emotional pain I've ever experienced—all the judgment from my parents, my self-judgment, my judgment from my ex-girlfriend—all that came over me overwhelmingly all at once. I yelled out at the top of my lungs, ‘Lord Jesus, bless me with detachment!!’ And it was like the Holy Spirit came over me and lifted all my troubles, worries, and fears away. I suddenly knew things were going to be okay. And for the first time in my adult life, I felt peace of mind. I went to bed, and slept like a baby. When I woke up, I was singing and dancing.”

(Side note: we like to say “sleep like a baby,” but babies don’t actually sleep that solidly. There’s a higher form of sleep that comes later in development. You can pick up a sleeping toddler and carry them out of a burning building without waking them. So we should actually say “sleep like a toddler.”)

I said, “Well, congratulations. You've reached the first significant level of detachment. The rabbit hole actually goes much deeper, but usually people are happy when they get to peace of mind. But it's a process. You're going to have good days and bad days.”

Elizabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the five stages of grief in 1969: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. In pop culture, these have been interpreted incorrectly as sequential stages, but that’s not how Kübler-Ross wrote about them. She taught that you could float from any one of the five stages back and forth. You could be starting to feel Acceptance one day, but find yourself in Anger the next, and so forth.

So I explained to Mike that he might feel better one day and worse the next—that it wasn’t necessarily a linear process of continuous improvement. Sure enough, on the fifth day he came back looking—not so good.

I asked him if he was okay. He replied, “I think I'm going crazy!” Now, I've learned that if your things change too fast, your mind can start questioning your grasp of reality. So I sit him down and asked him why he thought he was going crazy. He said, “Well, I went into the grocery store last night and when I laid eyes on the produce section it was like I saw fruits and vegetables for the first time in my life.

I stared at an apple for, like, five minutes, just thinking, what a beautiful creation of God that you can carry around and eat anywhere. I started crying. I started thinking about this beautiful thing that God created. And an orange—even better. It's got a peel that keeps it clean, and you have little sections for sharing with others. And then I picked up a watermelon. I said, oh my God, you could feed a village.”

He continued, “I just went there to shop and instead I'm having an ecstatic experience in the Produce section.” I laughed and said, “You know, appreciation for God's bounty is not a bad thing. And I'm sure it'll balance out. You’re not always going to have an ecstatic experience in the produce aisle, but just ride the wave while you can. It's a nice way to feel that connection with a higher power.”

He said, “Well, there’s more! I ran into my ex-girlfriend at the store.” I said, “Sure, those old memories, feelings, and emotions will come to the surface. Don't worry, I've seen enough to know that you're gonna be okay. Just keep practicing and praying for detachment, and they will affect you less and less. One day it won't affect you at all, and you’ll wish her well and mean it sincerely.”

He put his head down and shakes it a bit. He says, “Well, it didn't really go down that way this time. She came up to me and said, ‘Mike, you've never looked this good since I've met you. I want you to move back in and the other guy will move out. So I moved back in last night. I guess I wasn't as detached as I thought I was!”

I bit my lip to stifle a laugh. He had changed himself, enabling the relationship to enter a different state. If, before his transformation, a psychic had said he’d be back living with his girlfriend in six days, that would have been the headline.

But through his healing journey to detachment, Mike had discovered more peace of mind and freedom than he ever thought was possible. Detachment is an art that needs to be practiced. And even if you think you've mastered it, you're fooling yourself because attachment can come back. That's the nature of the mind. We tend to grow quite attached to things, especially those we love.

Some of my clients ask me, “Why does it work?” The best I can do to explain it is by analogy. Suppose you're an eight-year-old and your grandfather is the chancellor of a university. You go up to your grandfather and you say, “Grandpa, I want a PhD.” And your grandfather will be beaming from ear to ear, because you’re asking for the one thing he values above all—education.

Now, does he give you the PhD? Of course not, because you haven't earned the degree. But because you asked for it, he's going to do everything in his power to facilitate that PhD. In my opinion, that’s what happens when you ask your higher power for detachment. You surrender to the will of God, align with the role you’re supposed to play to the best of your ability, and enjoy peace of mind.

It's a practice, an art; you can develop mastery of it. Once you develop mastery, it’s a whole new world for you—your state of mind now becomes a choice you make. If you aren’t happy with your state of mind, seek detachment to achieve peace of mind. Once detachment becomes a habit, once you can acquire that “peace that surpasses understanding,” suddenly circumstances are just “things that happen in life.” They're not that rollercoaster ride anymore.

I recommend detachment for all people as a practice, letting go in order to detox your physical, mental/emotional, and spiritual/karmic ailments. Enjoy the journey and hopefully you'll find “peace of mind that surpasses understanding.”